The Experts Tell All

During the 25 plus years I’ve been hanging out with 4 year olds, I’ve jotted down tidbits here and there of the hilarious things they say. Four year old children are quite wise. If you truly listen to them, you’ll understand their literal thought process. I hope you appreciate their expertise as much as I do.

On housing:
“We have ghosts in our house. I know because I saw ghost tracks.”
“We are moving to a new house. Our old house is going to be shut down.”
Child making plans with his pal: “Want to come to my house to play? Just go past 7-11 and then go past Bob’s house and you’ll see my house.”
“I thought I heard a mouse in my house last night, but it was just my brother snoring.”

On the genders:
“I don’t have my ears pierced because I’m a boy, and boys don’t have their ears pierced. (PAUSE). Unless they’re pirates”
Me: “I see Daddy brought you to school today.”
Child: “Well, if he had long hair, it would be Mommy.”
Child’s casual comment about her grandmother: “My grandma can’t eat barbecue chips because she says they make her blow up.”
Another child remarks on Dad: “My dad has to lay off the beer.”

On the birds & the bees:
Child: “Bees pollinate the flowers. My mom taught me that.”
Me: “How does that work?”
Child: “Well, the bee sucks out all the pollinating stuff and gargles it and then spits out honey.”

The experts have spoken- hope you’ve listened and learned!